glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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