Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Randomize