I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
