basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
there is glitter all over my balls
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