I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
