it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I just found puke in my bra..
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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