Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Randomize
