Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
