just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
