i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
