can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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