hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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