Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
