is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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