Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Randomize
