bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
home. puking in laundry basket.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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