We tried having a conversation with our noses.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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