So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
