I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
