Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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