She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
ok first of all what the fuck
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
