Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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