Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
