I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
You are a genius and a whore.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
