I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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