Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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