All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Randomize
