remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
