Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
