She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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