Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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