nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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