good thing vaginas are great cup holders
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
