Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
