Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
