Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
