he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
