so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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