playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
