I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
