Nicole vs. Life
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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