This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
