I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
