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it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize