We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
