i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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