fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
