I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
