Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
