Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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