MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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