garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
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