I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
