She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
In America we eat man semen.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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