I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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