I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
be right there i have to get my cape
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
