I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
