his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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