So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize