i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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